Sh*t My Kids Do to Give Me a Heart Attack

(Or, How to Give Your Mother a Heart Attack in Three Easy Steps.)

1. Wear your Ninja costume from Halloween to bed, in lieu of pajamas.

2. At precisely 4:56 a.m. on a Saturday morning, stand grinning patiently by your mother’s bedside in your Ninja costume.

3. Watch your mother’s reaction when she opens her eyes (after a terribly restless night’s sleep) at 4:57 a.m.

Jesus, Mary and Joseph.  (All of whom I thought I was going to be having breakfast with this morning, given the way my heart was racing.)  I mean, really, I need this shit at 4:57 a.m. on a Saturday?  Really? When we have absolutely nothing to do and nowhere to be?  After a crappy night’s sleep?  When I’m coming off of a three-day migraine/sinus headache?

At least I can be thankful that My Boy had the good sense not to be holding the Ninja toy sword.  That’s something anyway.

In the meantime, make my morning coffee a decaf, please.

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4 thoughts on “Sh*t My Kids Do to Give Me a Heart Attack

  1. The1stdaughter

    Oh my! That sounds like something my son would do in an instant. I can’t count the number of times I’ve been scared awake by him standing staring at me while I sleep. He’s only four so it’s just him being too silly to wake me up. But still…5am! Ahhhh! Hopefully you’re feeling better now after a few days of recovering. :o)

  2. Lisa

    HA! I think it’s even the same ninja costume! T is accessorizing his differently, with a black mask and a red pirate belt, but it started off with that red felt vesty thing.

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