So, I just heard some rather disturbing news.
You might want to get yourself a bowl of ice cream or scrounge for any stray Reeses Peanut Butter Cups still lingering in your kid’s Halloween stash. Believe me, you’ll need it for what I’m about to tell you.
Let that sink in for a minute.
The world. Is running out. OF. CHOCOLATE.
I know. This is serious.
Why the hell this isn’t front page breaking news is beyond me. I mean, as upsetting as this is, I think that a crisis of this magnitude is something that the public must be informed about.
I think this should be considered an international crisis. The President needs to appoint a bi-partisan task force with the best and brightest minds in the country to work on this problem.
I’m not even supposed to be eating the stuff, as it’s a migraine trigger for me. So, really, consider this a public service announcement. For you.
You know what you gotta do.