I’ve been live-blogging the
Convention National Shitshow tonight and doing my civic duty to give you the benefit of my insights. As a bonus, you get those of The Husband, The Girl, and The Boy because politics is a family affair in this house.
“Is he supposed to be dressed up as Donald Trump?” – The Boy, as Fran Tarkenton takes the stage.
“Is there anybody who didn’t fight for the Confederacy who is speaking tonight?” – The Husband
When a woman hollers “Get R Done!” and quotes Larry the Cable Guy during a national political convention, you know this has officially reached shitshow status.
The RNC Chairman is telling us that the Republicans are the party of “new ideas.” Well, that’s certainly true.
Well, now there’s something I can agree with. “Americans have had enough!” – Reince Preibus, RNC Chair
And now, Donald J. Trump Jr. narrating the Trump Organization’s annual reports in the most boring, monotone voice.
Take a shot every time Donald J. Trump Jr. says “my father.” #DropsDead
This SuperPAC guy is talking about magical elixirs and raptures and being the anchovy on Ivanka Trump’s salad. I’ll have what he’s having.
“Where’s the music they play at the Oscars to get them off the stage?” – The Girl
Me – “This may be the worst music I’ve ever heard.”
The Husband – “All the things you’ve heard this week, and THE MUSIC is the WORST thing you’ve heard?”
“Who is THAT?????? I think I’m smitten.” – The Boy, upon seeing Ivanka. #RepublicansGotNuthinOnTeenageBoyhood
“Wait, she’s … a … A MOM?? I’m no longer smitten.” – The Boy
Oh, so Ivanka was allowed to think as a child. (“Ivanka, if you’re going to be thinking anyway, think big.”) Good to know.
“I think Anna Roosevelt delivered this same speech in 1936 for her father, Franklin D. Roosevelt.” – The Husband
Nice ass grab of your daughter, you goddamn pig.
We’ve all had a lot of laughs tonight, but you know what? This is some scary fucking shit. We have seen this show before, my friends. I am dead serious: I am goddamned terrified of this man and the direction this country is going. #HistoryRepeatsItself
“It sounds like it’s taking all his strength to say LGBTQ. Like it’s painful for him. Like it doesn’t sound authentic, Because it isn’t.” – The Girl
It’s almost midnight in America, folks. In more ways than one.
This is post #53 of 99 in my 99 Days of Summer Blogging project.