live blogging the convention

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I’ve been live-blogging the Convention  National Shitshow tonight and doing my civic duty to give you the benefit of my insights. As a bonus, you get those of The Husband, The Girl, and The Boy because politics is a family affair in this house.

8:14 p.m.
“Is he supposed to be dressed up as Donald Trump?” – The Boy, as Fran Tarkenton takes the stage.

8:37 p.m.
“Is there anybody who didn’t fight for the Confederacy who is speaking tonight?” – The Husband

8:44 p.m.
When a woman hollers “Get R Done!” and quotes Larry the Cable Guy during a national political convention, you know this has officially reached shitshow status.

9:06 p.m.
The RNC Chairman is telling us that the Republicans are the party of “new ideas.” Well, that’s certainly true.

9:10 p.m.
Well, now there’s something I can agree with. “Americans have had enough!” – Reince Preibus, RNC Chair

9:30 p.m.
And now, Donald J. Trump Jr. narrating the Trump Organization’s annual reports in the most boring, monotone voice.

9:32 p.m.
Take a shot every time Donald J. Trump Jr. says “my father.”  #DropsDead 

9:33 p.m.
This SuperPAC guy is talking about magical elixirs and raptures and being the anchovy on Ivanka Trump’s salad.  I’ll have what he’s having.

9:44 p.m.
“Where’s the music they play at the Oscars to get them off the stage?” – The Girl

9:47 p.m.
Me – “This may be the worst music I’ve ever heard.”
The Husband – “All the things you’ve heard this week, and THE MUSIC is the WORST thing you’ve heard?”

10:04 p.m.
“Who is THAT?????? I think I’m smitten.” – The Boy, upon seeing Ivanka.  #RepublicansGotNuthinOnTeenageBoyhood

10:13 p.m.
“Wait, she’s … a … A MOM?? I’m no longer smitten.” – The Boy

10:14 p.m.
Oh, so Ivanka was allowed to think as a child. (“Ivanka, if you’re going to be thinking anyway, think big.”) Good to know.

10:15 p.m.
“I think Anna Roosevelt delivered this same speech in 1936 for her father, Franklin D. Roosevelt.”  – The Husband

10:18 p.m.
Nice ass grab of your daughter, you goddamn pig.

10:34 p.m.
We’ve all had a lot of laughs tonight, but you know what? This is some scary fucking shit. We have seen this show before, my friends. I am dead serious: I am goddamned terrified of this man and the direction this country is going. ‪#‎HistoryRepeatsItself‬

10:57 p.m.
“It sounds like it’s taking all his strength to say LGBTQ. Like it’s painful for him. Like it doesn’t sound authentic, Because it isn’t.” – The Girl

11:44 p.m.
It’s almost midnight in America, folks.  In more ways than one.
Sleep well.

99 Days of Summer BloggingThis is post #53 of 99 in my 99 Days of Summer Blogging project.