Have You Got Any College?



Minute Man patriot on a cell phone
during a parade in the next town.
August 2009


This is what happens when you’ve been together for 20 years, as The Husband and I happily have been: not only do you start and finish one another’s thoughts, but you also develop certain catchphrases with meanings and origins known only to you and your significant other.

We have a few such pet phrases, most of which come from the classic 70s television show “All in the Family.”  

“Once again, your side of the family,” is used in reference to something innocently egregious, quirky, or baffling that a family member does, says, or posts on Facebook.  Archie Bunker has been known to say this to Edith. 

“Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding!”  Also an Archie reference, usually said by The Husband or I whenever one of us does something inane.

“Is that a fact?” is used in a smug J.R. Ewing tone of voice, as only the brilliant Larry Hagman could deliver on “Dallas.”

“Thank you, drive through,” originates from one of The Husband’s partners-in-crime from several jobs ago. (You know who you are, especially if you’re reading this on Facebook.)  It has various applications and meanings. 

This weekend, we added a new one to our marital repartee:  

“Have you got any college?” 
You may have heard that there’s a sorta big-deal election in my little state.  While this particular election is attracting attention from literally every corner of the globe (at least one reporter from Australia was on site this weekend to cover a rally that drew all of 70 people!), there are, in fact, other races and campaigns happening in our midst.  One is for State Attorney General.  According to our local newspaper, there was a town hall type of campaign event for the candidate who is running for that very office against the son of our country’s Vice President. 
“Have you got any college?” one constituent reportedly inquired of the candidate. 
Reading this in the paper nearly caused me to spit out my coffee.  Have you got any college??!!!  When I recovered from my hysteria, I read it out loud to The Husband.  According to the candidate himself, no, he actually doesn’t.  This pleased the questioner immensely because, as he says, people “with college” are the ones messing up this country for the likes of people like him. 
See what we’re dealing with here, people?  And I know this isn’t just here.  I know this mentality exists all over the country, which is part of what makes this country downright frightening to live in these days.  I mean, what does this remind you of? 
(“Boy, the way Glen Miller played. Songs that made the Hit Parade. Guys like us, we had it made. Those were the days! … People seemed to be content. Fifty dollars paid the rent. Freaks were in a circus tent. Those were the days!“)
I’ll remind you again that this politician without any college is running for ATTORNEY GENERAL. Who happens to have a bit of power and authority in our state. 
Don’t misunderstand me here: I don’t give a shit if the candidate finished college. Let me be very, very clear that I am not disparaging people without college educations and I am fully aware that many, many accomplished and notable persons became that way through hard work and pulling-oneself-up-by-the-bootstraps Horatio Alger type of way.  I get that, and I fully understand and respect that. 
In this case, however, the candidate’s work history is of the construction field variety – again, admirable and difficult and an honest day’s work. But when one is running to be my Attorney General, yeah, I’d kind of like him or her to have some college.  Doesn’t have to be the whole degree and enchilada. Just a few credits will suffice.  I’d like them to be able to draw on some kind of educational background when enacting legislation that is going to affect me and my kids. 
I’d like to believe this particular candidate has a snowball’s chance in hell of winning against the incumbent for Attorney General.  But, nothing is a foregone conclusion in these parts these days.  Nobody can be taken for granted or counted out of the game. 
That, my friends, is a fact.  Thank you, drive through.

copyright 2010, Melissa (Betty and Boo’s Mommy, The Betty and Boo Chronicles) If you are reading this on a blog or website other than The Betty and Boo Chronicles or via a feedreader, this content has been stolen and used without permission.

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5 thoughts on “Have You Got Any College?

  1. Mel

    Wooowwww. Just, wow. I don’t have a degree (though I do, indeed, have some college *snickers*), but yeah, this guy is not AG material! And the one who asked the question isn’t either! Oy.

  2. ritaliccious

    Call me crazy, but doesn’t the word “Attorney” in the title kind of imply, oh, I don’t know, a SPECIFIC degree.

    I call this phenomenon the dumbing down of America.

  3. K A B L O O E Y

    You. Dingbat. You.
    Shoebooty.
    Ah, Jeez. Jefferson was right.
    Hope your Attorney General keeps his job, but unfortunately, anything seems possible these days. And remember: Stretch Cunningham was Jewish. (You never know.)

  4. Florinda

    Personally, if you’re specifically talking about the office of Attorney General, I’d really prefer someone with a college degree – AND law school would probably help too!

    But there’s definitely a segment of the population that downplays higher education as “elitist,” and their voices seem to be getting louder.

    I hope they don’t start sounding TOO much like Archie Bunker, though. (BTW, you should hear my impression of Edith singing the theme song – I do it when I want to see my husband cringe! :-D)

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